Articles
Welcoming Tifereth’s Smallest Members
By Rabbi Steven Edelman-Blank
aaaaaThis past Shabbat Morning, two families brought their young children to services. The children made noise during the service. They walked up and down the aisles. One child even interrupted my explanation of the Torah portion.
aaaaaIt was fantastic.
aaaaaReligious communities often need to make a choice about the environment they want to create during worship opportunities. Do they stress the need for decorum or do they focus on creating a child-friendly atmosphere?
aaaaaI see the need to have some sense of order during services. We want to show proper respect for the liturgy and our traditions. However, I think it is much more important to create an environment in which children feel comfortable. We want children to develop warm feelings about being in the synagogue. This cannot happen when children are “shushed” or told to sit in the pews like statues. If they are walking around the chapel or occasionally crying out, no problem. If older kids need to take a break from the service, it is not an issue. All of us need a break sometimes.
aaaaaI would guess that the vast majority of our congregation feels the way I do. The smiles on the faces of service attendees demonstrate how much they enjoy seeing children in the service. I must admit that I was a little shocked when I came to Tifereth and saw how few children were at services. I am not used to this. I do not want parents in our community to feel hesitant to attend services because they fear that other congregants will look down upon them when their kids do not act like little angels. Kids will be kids. We need a room full of children, not angels.
aaaaaAt the synagogue, we are proud to offer programming catered to young families, such as Shabbat Schmooze. Thanks to improvements made by our Cantor, our YAD Shabbat programs are lively and well attended. At the same time, we do not mean for these programs to be the only services or events that young families attend. Attending services is part of Jewish education. Children may learn from practicing services at religious school, but they will not become comfortable or feel an attachment to Jewish worship without coming to services on a regular basis. In addition, we want to make sure that parents with young children get their own spiritual needs met.
aaaaaBoth the Cantor and I would love to hear from parents about how we can make both children and their parents more comfortable in services. We want the synagogue to feel like a second home to all members of our community, regardless if they are five years old or a hundred and five years old.
Beyond Survival
By Rabbi Steven Edelman-Blank
aaaaaWhen people discuss the future of Judaism in Des Moines, they often use the words “survival” and “viability.” Some wonder how long Judaism can survive in Des Moines. Others wonder how long a synagogue will be viable. I understand why members of the Des Moines community employ these terms. They have observed communities in Iowa diminish to the point that they appear to have simply drifted away. They have noticed the challenges that our entire community faces, including changing demographics.
aaaaaI avoid using these terms when talking about Des Moines. I fear that this type of language will send us in the wrong direction. Why? Words such as “survival” and “viability” are surrounded by a sense of doom and panic. These terms suggest that Judaism is on the brink of collapse here in Des Moines.
aaaaaMoreover, these words only lead us to evaluate our community from a primarily quantitative perspective. Membership rolls are meticulously watched with success defined as an increase in numbers and failure defined by a decrease. Current financial resources are viewed only in terms of what they were in the past, leading to despair if our current finances are not equal or better. Demographic changes in our community indicate a coming collapse. I have heard voices in our community that refer to the need to have “a critical mass” of people without ever defining what this number actually is.
aaaaaI do realize that the Des Moines community has faced significant difficulties in recent years. Regardless, we cannot let these difficulties blind us from our greatest strength: the very individuals that make up this community. The number of kind and dedicated individuals I have met in synagogue, at Federation meetings, and at the deli is staggering. My wife and I have truly been bowled over by the warm reception we have received here. I have been amazed at how committed many people are to Judaism, Israel, and their own Jewish community. The people of Des Moines are a continual source of hope, optimism, and enthusiasm for me.
aaaaaInstead of focusing on numbers we should evaluate the strength of our community qualitatively, not quantitatively. Instead of asking about the numbers of people attending an event or a service, we should focus on the quality of what is provided. How deeply are we touching the lives of our community members? Are excellent programs being offered? Are the diverse needs of different community members being met? Is Des Moines still an excellent Jewish community for raising a family? Using qualitative measures like these push us to constantly evaluate the value of what we offer and how we can improve it. They move us towards innovation and away from simply circling our wagons.
aaaaaPerhaps it is also useful to remind ourselves why we want Judaism to survive in Des Moines at all. Once we get past feelings of nostalgia and guilt, why is Judaism in Des Moines worth fighting for? Because Judaism provides us a path to meeting our spiritual needs and finding meaning in our lives. Judaism can help us answer our most basic questions. What does it mean to be a good person? Why do bad things happen? Do we have a purpose? Throughout history, Jewish people have endeavored to answer these same questions and connect with God. The tradition we have inherited is full of insights on how we can approach these questions and live more meaningful lives.
aaaaaEssentially, I believe that the future of Judaism in Des Moines has not yet been decided. Our future as a Jewish community can still be what we make it. If we strive to focus on the spiritual needs of our community and evaluate our efforts using a qualitative, not just quantitative approach, I believe we will realize our goals are still well within reach. Now is not the time to focus on helping our community “survive.” Now is the time to explore how our community can thrive.